Help! It’s drowning!

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It’s almost funny how sexism and feminism act like the flip sides of the same coin and we don‚Äôt realise that we are shackled to one of these ends in an era of freedom. Running towards each other with almost equal forces into the battle, the neutrality of free will being lost, both these forces are waging a war on freedom. ¬†As I stand in the midst of it, let‚Äôs say, as a married woman what do I do? While sexism encourages me to drop hints of marriage to the world while parading out the wedding band, sindoor, and mangalsootra, Feminism throttles me to charade it. In its ingenuity to romanticize control, Sexism tell me that it‚Äôs cute when my husband gets jealous and wants the world to know that I am taken but right then feminism arrives with the baton of enlightenment, coaxing in me the faux sense of defense against being told what to do while telling me what to do. It‚Äôs pretty genius if you ask me. Crouched in the corner is my free will listening to these forces as if they are its conscience fighting on its either shoulder, one in a white halo and the other with the red pointed tail, failing to decide what to do in the ultimate fear of being judged.

The concept of feminism has evolved in three waves till now. What started as the attempt to acquire the basic legal rights for women (first wave), transformed into the demand for equal rights as humans with a world free of domestic violence, marital rapes and the likes. The third wave arrived with a simple demand, with ambiguity of its stand on pornography, prostitution and broadly – “choice”. This wave came with a certain objective-to introduce to the world free will of women, give the world an opportunity to define feminism how they like it.

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In my opinion, it came rather too soon, uninvited in a hostile environment. It’s like Roose Bolton when it comes to being a successor rather than like Yara Greyjoy (who patiently waited for her father to die to have a chance of ascending the throne). The people were not ready yet to decide how they want to express the term with such a broad scope of meaning. I can say that because I sure as hell am not ready. Think about it regardless of whether you are a man or a woman. “Am I a sexist if I really want to have a wedding ceremony with all the rituals? (I, here, talk about both Christian and Hindu weddings).  Will walking my daughter down the aisle and giving her away make me a sexist (Hindu equivalent being kanyadaan)? Will my choice to wear the red bangles (chuda) make me less of a feminist?” It was confusing for a world that was still dealing with unequal wages, rapes and dowry deaths. So we picked sides. Some remained on the side of sexism and others went over to what they believed was feminism for them. They are oblivion to the fact that they did not jump ships but just decks. They still are on the Titanic of domination and control. And free will? It’s drowning.drowning

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