If you are someone who is claustrophobic even at the idea of more than 5 people within 500 metres of your nose,chances are that your first ride on the Delhi metro was not a trip to Disneyland. Don’t get me wrong, The Delhi Metro is a fantastic example of the capital’s well-functioning public transport system, especially when temperatures outside soar to 45 degrees but there are many hurdles to be crossed before the pleasant lady on its communication system informs you that you’ve reached your destination.
Take, for example, the simple ride from India Gate. Your research will tell you how much time it would take you, what you need to carry in your sling bag for the ride as well as what platforms you must stay on but if you overlook the tiniest detail about the interchange, you are in for some hard times.
In a year or a bit less of commuting, here are the types of people everyone will have at least encountered once on a Metro coach.
- The Gatekeeper: No matter how empty the train is, this person will just not move from his position: The door. Even if his destination is 12 stations away, he thinks it’s his duty to guard the gate. Nothing is going to move this person, not a huge crowd at Mandi House or a man trying to get off with four pieces of luggage.
- The Pole Dancer:¬†This person probably takes Major Lazer way too seriously and his life’s motto is: “All we need is somebody to lean on.” The train may be completely packed, leaving you no breathing space but it‚Äôs absolutely vital that this person leans on the pole.
- The Music Enthusiast:¬†You can‚Äôt help but judge this guy‚Äôs taste in music. We wouldn‚Äôt. Had the noise in his ears not penetrated our ears too. Sometimes, he inadvertently joins his speakerphone in serenading fellow commuters and raps a verse or two while listening to Altaf Raja‚Äôs iconic beats.
- The Groomer:¬†This one is perhaps the busiest person on the planet; because there is no other reason why someone would groom their fingernails on the Metro.
- The Peeping Jack Readers:¬†Whether you‚Äôre chatting with your girlfriend, reading a book, or watching the latest episode of ‘Mirzapur’, there‚Äôs always one person who‚Äôs more interested in your stuff than you. If you sit beside this person, be prepared for unsolicited relationship advice, spoiler alerts, and of course relentless scrutiny.
- The I-Will-Do-Anything-To-Get-A-Seat Person:¬†This seat hoarder will do anything to get a seat. He/She always saves two seats – one for himself and the other for his imaginary friend. Actually, the imaginary friend is his bag. Ask him to get it off and you’ll be at the receiving end of the ‘look’.
- The Bhukkad:¬†The tiffin opens and a smelly whiff traverses through the air and reaches your nostrils. You now know that the¬†Bhukkad¬†is hogging on pakoras¬†for breakfast. This man or woman is the reason why your appetite is shrinking by the day and the rest of your coach travellers dig their face into their jackets.
- The Buddies:¬†Buddies are the easiest people to find on the metro, but the hardest to avoid since their volume is always raised to the fullest; even if you‚Äôre travelling in the farthest end of the train, their raucous voice will reach your ears screeching through the coaches.