The Unexplored Side of Online Dating

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Mallika Barsaley
A 2nd-year student pursuing B.A.Programme with a knack of writing. A budding journalist and an all-time explorer. General Secretary of B.A.Programme Association of Kamala Nehru College.

The new game of swiping has us all to its addiction. The mere satisfaction we get just by the idea of the abundance of choices makes us want to play with it more. Online dating apps are as if they were made for millennials. They are fast, effortless and diverse. Online dating is an interesting and libertarian concept where both individuals are singing from the same sheet. Online dating market that stood at 2.7% in 2018 is expected to hit 3.2% by 2023, according to online market researcher Statista.

Keeping this thought in mind, it can be perceived that people today are looking for quantity over in-depth relationships. The fun of fractional seconds is valued more over long term partnership. However, on the other hand, it can also be seen that people are in a hurry just to have someone to escape the loneliness breathing inside us. With such abundant choices, people hastily change their partners with a feeling of dejection. The desideratum of being validated by others has led to such an increase in the usage of online dating apps. Furthermore, even believers of old school romance tend to download such apps just for the sake of ‘being cool’,  ‘following the trend’ etc. As reported by livemint.com, Tinder reported 7.5 million daily swipes in the country last year, and the highest average number of messages exchanged per match in the world.

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As useful online dating can be, it has a contrary side that is unexplored. On being rejected by a person online or getting no match might leave a person with low self-esteem. Practices like ghosting, orbiting and r-bombing have instigated anxiety and depression amongst people. The basic idea of choosing a partner has come down to judgments of looks and a short bio. This judgment has led to instances of body shaming and cyberbullying too. Online dating can always leave people thinking on the notes of there is always someone better due to abundance in choices, this leads to hasty decisions and less of in-depth relationships. It can also be seen as a way to validate yourself, the more matches you get the better you are, you have to be slim to get more people interested or boys have to be taller, etc. All the above things can depress a person causing anxiety, negative thoughts, low self-esteem and much more.

Lastly as said before, online dating can be as fun and interesting when people are thinking on the same lines. From hooking up to one night stands to long term relationships to open relationships, online dating apps are meant for all. One must explore its every aspect until one’s mental health is not getting affected.

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